May 2024 | Breathing Through Grief: Embracing Emotions and Uncertainty
I consider myself a happy person, I do get sad and feel low sometimes. And when I do, it feels extra—even more intense than one might imagine.
Emotions over logic—I love it, and I hate it. It’s overwhelming to feel such deep, shaking emotions. My dog recently passed away, and it brought up unconscious thoughts that reminded me of daughter—the dog I parted in the States with my ex…
Separation anxiety. I still can’t shake it off. These days, I’ve been pretty neutral—not overly stressed or overly happy. I’ve been mindful of my body and health, holding onto the hope of reversing my scoliosis with therapy, yoga, and massage. I’m committed to them all.
What I’ve also been practicing, along with everything else, is breathing. I used to find it funny when people said I didn’t know how to breathe— isn’t that something everyone who’s alive knows how to do? But practicing it has allowed me to delve deeper into my thoughts, which can be scary sometimes. Together, the joy, the traumas, and all the darkness. I have to be honest, I am not at my most comfortable level with this journey, but I still choose to open up and pursue the road. The regimen made me reflect on my deep emotions, the anxiety, especially around separation.
Did it give me some sort of closure? Perhaps could be the opposite—it actually made me question myself even more.
Now, I’m not sure if the breathing I’ve started is doing me any good.